Maybe it's just not enough
by Lorii67
Summary: Oliver and Felicity in three years. Maybe it's just not enough.
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this a while ago and completely forgot about it. Hope you enjoy. I am on an updating weekend. Tonight Different Lives should be updated and a new chapter of To keep her safe. Thank you for all the reviews.**

* * *

Felicity turned around and faced him, she'd been waiting for him to come home for a while now. Blue met blue as they both stood in place looking at one another, Felicity took a deep breathe. "I know I said …" her voice started to betray her and tears streamed down her cheeks. "I know I said I was ok with it … but I'm not ok Oliver" she bit the inside of her cheek to stop the sobs from coming out.

Oliver remained in his spot not saying a word, what was he to say to that. He rubbed the back of his neck but still no words escaped his mouth.

"I love you so much … but I can't Oliver" she picked up her duffel bag and threw it round her shoulder and took hold of the suitcase her blue painted nails digging into the suitcase as she dragged it towards the door. Felicity paused and looked up at the man she loved, she pushed herself up on her toes and pecked him on the cheek. "I'm sorry … I love you" she sniffled as she finally left their front door.

Oliver still remained in place not moving, he hadn't said anything to her nor had he tried to stop her. He had just lost the love of his life.

* * *

_3 Years Earlier …_

It had been a crazy three years they had gone through so much, terrorist attacks, people coming back from the dead, people dying. The hardest part of all of it was losing the people that matter, the people they loved had fallen. But through all the darkness, through all the heartache Oliver and Felicity were finally together. After all the heartache and will they, won't they here they were finally in each other's arms. They laid in Felicity's bed Oliver had awoken early as usual and had been watching her sleep, she laid on her stomach snuggled to her pillow. Her bare back from the night before was out from under the covers. The urge to touch her was so deep but he did not want to wake her just yet. He waited a few more minutes but his urge fought and he leaned over and placed kisses on her bare shoulder, her back her neck. She moaned in pleasure "hmm" she smiled, her eyes still remained closed.

"Good morning" he placed another kiss on her shoulder chuckling when instead of rolling on her back she rolled onto him her back now pressed into his chest. Oliver wrapped her arm around her waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"Did you think we would finally end up here" she whispered as she ran her arm down his.

"I liked to think so"

"Oh really" she said sarcastically, "how about we no longer talk about the past and just look forward to the future" now rolling back onto her stomach then rolling onto her side again so she could face him.

"So restless" he joked as he brushed her hair behind her neck, "I vote looking forward to the future too" he leaned in to kiss her but she moved back.

"Hmmm … morning breathe" she said groggily.

"I love your morning breathe though" Oliver laughed as he pinned her down and laid onto of her planting his lips on hers, he could feel her smiling finally opening her mouth allowing him access.

"Did you work out because you're really sweaty?" she asked in between kisses.

"Hmmm" he said as he began to trail kisses down her neck.

"How about we kill two birds with one stone …" she leaned her lips to his ears and whispered "shower" sending shivers down his spine.

"Shower" he repeated as he jumped off her, pulling her legs and lifting her into his arms as he walked them towards the bathroom chuckling like a bunch of teenagers.

A couple of months had passed and Oliver and Felicity had been like two people on a constant honeymoon. They sneaked away whatever chance they got to be together, they couldn't keep their hands off each other and would sneak in kisses at every opportunity. It drove the rest of their team, their family crazy, everyone is overjoyed and happy for the pair but no one wanted to see it on constant display. Diggle had a go at them one night when he came down to the foundry and found them messing about in the lair on the med table. Felicity had been completely humiliated and embarrassed and Oliver had found the whole thing funny. It was not the first time that someone had walked in on them. After the battle with the League of Assassins Oliver and Felicity moved in with Roy and Thea. The two youngsters had set rules for the happy couple rules which meant in their presence they had to keep their hands away from each other, if they could do it then so could they.

Felicity and Oliver had decided to take a shower together completely unaware that Roy was home he had walked in on them. Lucky for them the shower door was closed but Felicity yet again had been left red faced as Oliver laughed. Roy on the other hand had decided not to leave them be but have a go at the two who stood very, very naked behind the shower door.

Felicity and Oliver were very deeply in love, they had three years to make up. Everything worked better for the team, they worked in sync finished each other's sentences and thoughts, they did that before they were dating but held back at times on the awkward front.

John and Lyla had needed a babysitter for Sara and Felicity had volunteered immediately, she loved babies especially baby Sara. After Oliver and Felicity had moved back into Felicity's townhouse Oliver had come home to find her and baby Sara playing with blocks on the floor of Felicity's living room.

"Hey" he said as he walked in, baby Sara still made him anxious and nervous but the sight that greeted him when he came home brought further anxiety and stress. He watched as Felicity turned Sara and helped her hand wave at Oliver. Oliver began to panic the sight of Sara made him nervous the thought of children made him nervous. "What is Sara doing here?" he asked nervously as he made sure he was standing as far away from them as possible.

"Digg and Lyla are out for dinner so we are looking after this angel give mommy and daddy some time alone" she said in her baby voice causing Sara to giggle.

Oliver nodded and quickly went into their bedroom, he did not like this at all, he didn't want Sara here with them he could feel his hands trembling, the fear of something happening not being able to protect Sara. Oliver worried about having an innocent baby anywhere near him, for him to somehow taint that child, for him to cause them harm, bring enemies upon them. That was why he did not like the idea of Sara being down in the lair or her being here in their house so close to him.

Felicity opened the door with Sara resting on her shoulder, "Are you alright?" she asked concerned and worry written on her face.

"Yes" he nodded his head but did not turn around to face her, "Just going to jump in the shower". Oliver walked to the shower his back still towards Felicity and Sara.

Felicity didn't know what had gotten into him but she decided to ask him later. She went back to playing with Sara, she fed her and changed and finally sang her to sleep. She placed Sara on their bed and placed a blanket over her. She left the baby monitor close and the door ajar. Once she returned back to the living room Oliver was sitting on a kitchen stool have a cup of coffee.

Felicity strolled over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. "Oliver what is going?" she asked in a concerned tone as she rested her chin on his fore arm.

"I don't like Sara being here" he admitted since they had finally allowed their feelings well his feelings for her Oliver did not keep any secrets from her. He had shared his dark past, his story every detail and every memory and was both relieved and outraged that she had still remained by his side. She called him courageous and brave for doing what needed to be done to ensure he survived all the sacrifices he made to keep his family safe, he was her hero.

"Why Oliver she's just a baby" she raised her eyebrow.

"I can't … I can't taint her bad things happen around me I can't bring her into this I cannot allow my enemies to see her after tonight Felicity I don't want her ever coming round here it is bad enough that I allowing myself to be with you" he said in frustration. Felicity released her hold over him. She stepped away part confusion, part anger.

"So … I don't understand … what will happen when … you … we" she whispered, "I mean …."

"Not having kids Felicity" he revealed turning around and facing her. "I am sorry maybe I should have told you in the beginning but I don't want kids, I can't …"

"Ever" she whispered she rubs her thumb and finger together.

"Ever" he says with full force and conviction. "I'm sorry if it is what you want but it's not something I want ever … Felicity …" he held out his hands "I love you so much and I just hope I am enough … I'm sorry I just …" Felicity sees the look in his eyes his guilt and fear.

She took a moment to absorb his words, she loved this man more than anything he was all she had wanted since he walked into her office, she also always wanted children but if the man she loved didn't want children what did that mean. She shook her head and Oliver tensed afraid he had just pushed her away, had just ended things. He started to hate himself after everything they went through for it to end here and now.

"Ok … I … thought of children later on I will admit but … you are all I need, I love you more than anything, you are enough and this doesn't change anything" she surprised Oliver as she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. "I'll make sure Sara isn't …"

"Felicity … I made this decision a long time ago and I will not be changing it and if you …"

"All I want is you only you, always you" she tiptoed and embraced him in a passionate kiss. Oliver leaned his forehead against hers when they finally pulled away. The woman he loved just kept surprising him.

"You're remarkable"

"Thank you for remarking on it" she giggled.

* * *

_4 months later_

Oliver and Felicity were in their living room watching telly, Felicity was feeling a little mischievous, she sat on Oliver's lap and was insistent on giving him a couple of love bites on his necks; not that he was complaining. They had to get ready as they were invited to the Diggle's for dinner but they were stalling.

"Baby as much as …" he laughed as he felt her pout against his neck. "We need to get ready and go and they have something important to tell us" Oliver said as he stood carrying Felicity bridal style, her face still buried in the crook of his neck.

Putting her down he turned her round so she was facing the stairs he slapped her bottom lightly, "Go get ready"

"Fine" she hung her shoulders low still upset that they didn't take it to the next level.

Once they got to the Diggle's they were greeted by a baby Sara who had just started walking. Felicity quickly picked the girl up who wrapped her arms around her neck in a tight embrace. Felicity kissed her cheek several times before passing her back to Diggle. Oliver as per usual kept his distant but did greet her with a kiss on the cheek to which the little girl giggled.

After dinner they all sat in the living room with a glass of wine, Oliver and Felicity sat side by side laughing and giggling oblivious to Lyla who was not par-taking in the wine drinking.

"So what did you want to tell us" Felicity finally says her hand on Oliver's thigh as his hand is round her shoulder.

"Well, we wanted you to be the first to know" Lyla said excitedly as she looked at Diggle.

"We're pregnant" Diggle blurts out with a huge smile on his face.

Both Oliver and Felicity are silent for a minute. "Congratulations" Oliver says as he stands gives Diggle and pecks Lyla on the cheek.

"Congrats guys I am really happy for you, Sara is going to have a little brother or sister" Felicity squeaks in delight as she hugs them both.

* * *

_5 Months Later_

_"Oliver_ you should go and see him" Felicity says as she rubs circles on Oliver's knuckles. They had just found out that Sandra had lied about the baby and Oliver had fathered a 9 year old boy, Connor. Oliver still looked at his feet, not knowing what to say. "Hey" Felicity whispers as she tugs at his chin to look at her. "He is your son go, go see him, go get to know him" she smiles and kisses him.

* * *

_3 Months Later_

The Diggle's welcomed baby Grace into the world, they were blessed with another daughter, a sister for baby Sara. Everyone was at the hospital welcoming the new member of the family. It was Felicity's turn to hold baby Grace. She held her breath as she cradled her in her arms, she was tiny and gorgeous. As Sara looked more like Diggle baby Grace was all Lyla.

Oliver watched from the back of the hospital room, the woman he loved cradling a baby, his heart warmed at the sight but he quickly made sure he buried it.

"She is beautiful" Felicity says feeling the slight déjà vu of everything.

"She is" he smiles as they stand in the same corridor that they stood 2 year ago. He leans in and kisses her forehead and then her lips. Unlike last time the kiss was not a goodbye.

* * *

_2 Months Later_

Everyone was gathered at Laurel's and Ted's for dinner, in the past months Laurel had finally found herself in a good place. She and Ted married and everyone had gathered. An unlikely friendship was formed between Laurel and Felicity and both were glad to have found it.

Everyone sat round the dining table, Roy and Thea, Diggle and Lyla with their girls who were sleeping in Laurel's room, Captain Lance and Dinah. Felicity and Oliver sat at the table too and were make jokes and Felicity was trying to feed Oliver broccoli.

"Thank you for coming everyone" Laurel says interrupting everyone's conversations. "We have news" she smiles as Ted gets up to stand next to her. "I am pregnant" she exclaimed as everyone gasped and a few started to clap. Dinah and Lance were the first to get up and hug Laurel tightly and everyone else followed. Oliver felt Felicity tense next to him, he watched her face over the years he had grown accustomed to the different faces she expressed and their meanings. She had her thinking face on, he watched as she shook her head and bit her lip. Over the years he had also recognised the mask she put on her face as well. He watched as she slipped in on and he knew it wasn't because she wasn't happy for Laurel and Ted but it was because of something else. Felicity got up and hugged them both tightly, wishing them all the best.

Once Oliver and Felicity got home he watched her strip into his shirt and get under the covers, he did not want to ask her the question that threatened to leave his lips in fear that he could lose her.

"You coming to bed" she said. Oliver quickly crawled in and loved how she immediately wrapped her arms around him resting her head over his heart, planting a kiss before doing so. "Night, I love you" she yawned.

"I love you too" he kissed the top of her head.

* * *

_6 Months Later_

Oliver and Connor were getting on really well, Oliver was an amazing father but never wanted to hear it. He had told Felicity and others that the only reason Connor had turned out the way he did was because he was not in his life from the beginning to ruin it. He hadn't helped shape Connor in any way and that was why he was the kid he was. Despite Felicity's reassurance Oliver thanked the way his son turned out on his mother Sandra. Sandra had wormed her way into their lives, she would come round for dinner uninvited and would always tell stories of when Connor was younger. Felicity would never say she was jealous of Sandra because there was doubt in her mind of Oliver's love for her. But she was jealous of their family, the two of them as parents to Connor. There had been many times where they had gone out as a family, Oliver would always invite her but as a kid who grew up without a dad she would have killed to spend time with both her parents at the same time.

So Felicity always took a step back, she was ok with the three of them going out to museums, cinemas and dinners. She was happy for Oliver all the time he spent with Connor helped shine out some of the darkness that he was still insistent on having inside of him.

One night Thea and Roy had come round for dinner, Roy had proposed to Thea only months earlier after having a really difficult conversation with Oliver when he asked for her hand. Felicity never commented on the fact that she and Oliver had never discussed marriage. She knew that they were not going to have children but she believed that it wouldn't stop them from getting married. She never asked afraid of scaring him of losing him. He had never brought it not when Laurel and ted had gotten married and not when Roy and Thea had gotten engaged. Hell she didn't even bring it up when they had found out that Barry and Iris were engaged a few months ago.

But when Thea and Roy came round that night she didn't need for them to tell the news she knew immediately but she waited for them to share the news anyways.

"Ollie, did you hear what we said, I'm pregnant" Thea repeated once Oliver froze in his place. Felicity smiled and embraced the young couple which she was extremely fond of and had adopted as a brother and sister.

She stood back and let Oliver have his moment with Thea and Roy. There was an ache in her heart however her friends and family were all settling down and here she stood in her home with Oliver not moving forward in their lives in any way. There was an ache in her heart because she knew that she would never experience what Thea, what Lyla, what Laurel and no doubt what Iris would be experiencing in their lives. There was a small hole in her heart, Oliver was always enough for her she knew that but she couldn't help but notice that missing something.

Once Thea and Roy had left and Oliver's nerves had stopped he watched Felicity who stood in the balcony looking out at the world.

He wrapped her arms around her waist. "I can't believe my baby sister is pregnant" he said in a low voice.

"I know but … she will be an incredible mom Oliver and Roy will be an amazing father" she turned and kissed his cheek as she went back inside to run herself a bath. She made a quick exist hoping Oliver hadn't noticed the tears. She had done that a lot, cried, she had started crying in secret from Oliver. Oblivious however was that she didn't know that he knew, Oliver would hear her cry in the bathroom and had noticed the tears streaks her on cheeks, her had noticed her red eyes. But he never said anything.

* * *

_7 Months Later_

Despite thinking that things would get awkward for Oliver and Felicity they were the same they had always been they still held each other, made love to each other and were still happy and growing strong. They stood in the hospital room Thea had just given birth to a baby girl. She was absolutely beautiful and she decided to dedicate her name to Oliver. Thea had given birth to Olivia Dearden Harper. Felicity was content and ok with not having a baby but it all changed the moment Oliver held Olivia.

Her breath caught in her throat as Oliver cried tears of happiness and looked down at the baby girl with complete joy and love. She swallowed the lump in her throat knowing that he would never do that for them, they would never have that sort of moment.

* * *

_3 Months Later_

It was Connor's 10th Birthday. They had all gathered at Sandra's house. Felicity and Connor got on really well and he loved learning about technology from her. However on this day Felicity had never felt more alone and isolated from anything in her life. She watched as Oliver and Connor played soccer with Sandra. She watched as numerous photos was taken of the three on them. She was not jealous of Sandra she was jealous of the family they had, the family they shared. They had a bond and bond she would never share with Oliver or anyone else for that matter.

Felicity smiled as Oliver had the biggest grin on his face how he lifted his son in the air and spun him round. She loved watching him play fight with his son and watched how he only made the smallest of movements and gestures in fear of hurting him.

She looked round at her family which had gathered. Thea and Laurel were feeding their babies, Laurel had also had a baby girl which she named Matilda Sara Grant. She looked to where Roy was working the barbecue and where Lyla and Diggle played with their little girls on the bouncy castle.

"Aunt Lissy" a small voice said she hadn't noticed how late it had gotten.

"Hi Sara" Felicity said as she pecked the girl on the cheek.

"Aunt Lis" baby Grace squeaked, she had learned how to say her name and it always warmed her heart.

Felicity heart twisted in pain every time she was called aunt. She knew when baby Olivia and baby Matilda learned to talk that she would be aunt Lissy to them too.

"Felicity" Connor called, "thank you for coming and my present" he hugged her.

"You're welcome" Felicity smiled.

"Do you know where dad is?" they boy asked innocently.

"Dad?" Felicity questioned. He had never called Oliver that even after learning the truth it was always Oliver.

"Yeah it's kind of like my present to him" Connor chuckled, "I asked if he was ok with me calling him dad and he said he was" he smiled and waved as he left.

Felicity ran and found the bathroom hiding inside, she turned on the tap as she started to cry, she had been surrounded by children calling their parents mom and dad. She watched as Grace and Sara called mom to Lyla on so many occasions. Baby Matilda was in the stages of saying Mama to Laurel. And in several months' time baby Olivia would be doing the same thing.

It was almost bearable, but now, now Connor was calling Oliver dad. It was like the cherry on top of the icing. Everyone was a parent, their children called them mom and dad, even the man she was with he had a son, a son who called him father. She was never going to get that, she would never be called mom.

Once they got home Oliver had noticed the silence that filled the car journey home.

"Are you ok?" he finally asked when they got home.

"No, no I am not" she said in a low voice. Taking a deep breathe she faced him. "I am not ok, I will never be ok I know, I know I said that you are enough, we just us is enough … it's not" tears pooled down her cheeks.

"I …" she bite her lip, "I want a baby, I'm sorry but I do … I stood at the party and looked round as all our friends are parents, I watched their children call to them, hugged them, kissed them, played with them" she took of her glasses as they began to fog. "Everyone is a parent, even you and I am happy for you Oliver so happy and I am so happy that he is started to call you dad … but I will never be mom I will never be someone's mom … because you don't want … you won't give me a baby … give us a baby" she cried.

She pushed past him and started stripping into her pyjamas not bothering to wear his shirt like she normally did. Oliver followed and stood back watching.

"I want a baby and I know you are not going to give me one" she nodded as she started to take off some of the pillows on the bed. "But I also … where do we stand" she asked.

"What?" he finally spoke.

"I am your girlfriend … and I don't want to sound like the crazy girl who asks when are we going to get married but … do you want to … ever want to get married … never been brought up before … will I just … always be your girlfriend" she shrugged. "I … no matter what I will just be Felicity the girlfriend" she yelled.

"That is not true" he shouted back.

"Yes it is … no more … I … no matter what … you share something and bond with Sandra because you both have something in common Connor, she is the mother of your child and … I'm not saying that there is something happening before you … get it twisted … but"

Oliver remained silent.

"I want marriage and children" she got into bed and turned her back to him.

Oliver left the room and went into their spare bedroom. He replayed everything she said, why was he being stubborn, he loved her more than anything, why, why couldn't he give her what she wanted, what she deserved. He was frightened. He was confused and pissed, he didn't know why he was frightened, he had a son already, his sister had a baby, and they all had children. Oliver began to cry as he laid flat on his back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. He pictured Felicity walking down the aisle, he pictured her pregnant with his baby, their baby.

The next morning Oliver had left for work, Felicity had bothered moving from bed and he found her in the same position as she got into last night.

* * *

"Why are your bags packed?" Oliver asked, he had just come home and was met with the sight of his girlfriend's bags packed in the corridor.

Felicity turned around and faced him, she'd been waiting for him to come home for a while now. Blue met blue as they both stood in place looking at one another, Felicity took a deep breathe. "I know I said …" her voice started to betray her and tears streamed down her cheeks. "I know I said I was ok with it … but I'm not ok Oliver" she bit the inside of her cheek to stop the sobs from coming out.

Oliver remained in his spot not saying a word, what was he to say to that. He rubbed the back of his neck but still no words escaped his mouth.

"I love you so much … but I can't Oliver" she picked up her duffel bag and threw it round her shoulder and took hold of the suitcase her blue painted nails digging into the suitcase as she dragged it towards the door. Felicity paused and looked up at the man she loved, she pushed herself up on her toes and pecked him on the cheek. "I'm sorry … I love you" she sniffled as she finally left their front door.

Oliver still remained in place not moving, he hadn't said anything to her nor had he tried to stop her. He had just lost the love of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Felicity sat on the balcony of her mother's home. Since she had packed her bags and left Oliver because she wanted more from her life. Felicity clutched her mug of coffee closer to her chest, she had been with Oliver for almost 4 years how could she not have realized sooner that they wanted different things in life.

Felicity wished she had known earlier that Oliver had not been interested in committing to her. She wished she knew that Oliver did not want children from early on. She wished she hadn't just thrown away 4 years of her life with Oliver. If she had found someone else she would have been married possibly pregnant within those 4 years.

Now that she had left him she wondered what her next steps were. She wondered what she had to do now to achieve what she wanted from her life. When she had arrived at her mom's she had sunk in her arms and cried for hours. Finally calming down Felicity had managed to tell her mother Donna everything that had happened between her and Oliver.

Her mother had thankfully understood her decision to leave Oliver, she had asked her daughter why she hadn't left earlier and she had told her that now she had her chance to find the right one for her. When her mother had said that Felicity looked at her mother, was it true had she yet to find the one? She hadn't said anything to her mum and just listened as she told Felicity that she needed to move on, find someone willing to give her everything she deserved.

It was the 9th day since Felicity had arrived at her mother's, it had become routine for her to sit on the balcony on her mother's apartment staring out into a park where women took their children. She tried to picture what it would have been like if she and Oliver had a baby. If they had gone to the park, fed the ducks had a picnic. She wondered what Oliver was doing every day that she had been in Vegas. She looked at her phone every 5 minutes expecting, hoping that he would have text or called. But nothing. He hadn't tried to contact her at all and Felicity knew that he thought her leaving him was for the best.

Felicity knew that Oliver had probably been relieved that she had left him. Now he could focus all his energy and attention on his son. When Felicity's phone chimed she hoped it was Oliver, turning the phone around as it was facing down on the table she saw it was a message from Diggle. Since she had left the rest of her family, the team had all text and called her. She hadn't replied to one, she knew if she started replying that she would get emotional and want to return home.

The worst thing about leaving Oliver was that it meant she left her family. It meant she left her God children which she loved dearly. It meant she was away from the two men that had become brothers and the women that had become not only her best friends but we're like sisters. Felicity hated that she was away from the people she loved. But she knew that if she could not be with Oliver then she couldn't be in Starling. It would be too hard to stay in Starling to watch Oliver bond with his son. To watch Oliver spend time with him and make a life with his son. She want jealous of Connor. Of course she wasn't how could she be jealous of a little boy. No what really got Felicity was the fact that Oliver had a son, that he was allowing himself to be happy and to be a dad. She found it very hypocritical of him that he kept telling her that he couldn't have a baby he could be a father when he already was one. She had concluded that he just didn't want a baby with her. He didn't know how to tell her that he didn't want a child with her so he had just tried to play it off to not wanting to taint a baby.

"FELICITY" her mother yelled. As Felicity rolled her eyes and went inside she found her mother in front of the TV.

"Mom?" Felicity says as she looks up at the TV.

"Someone kidnapped Connor," her mother says in shock.

Felicity's eyes widen and she turns the volume up. Someone had taken Connor from school and the Queens had received a ransom demand of 5 million dollars. Felicity's mouth opened in an on o shape, she quickly pulled her phone out and dialed Diggle.

Once she got off the phone to Diggle she quickly booked herself on the next flight to Starling City and left.

* * *

When Felicity arrived at the Queen manor she had to give herself a minute to catch her breath. She didn't even know if she should be there. Oliver and Sandra probably didn't need her but she had started running searches on Connor during her flight and she had come up with nothing. Felicity entered the manor and walked inside to find the police and her family gathered around the living room, a tracing machine placed in the middle. Felicity spotted Oliver he was holding a crying Sandra close to his chest and was whispering something in her ear. Felicity decided to make herself known she entered further in and stopped when she saw everyone's eyes land on her.

"Felicity," Oliver says from the end of the room slowly letting go of Sandra.

"I saw the news," she says. Felicity sees Captain Lance and goes to him, "I've started to run some searches of my own so far nothing, but they are ongoing" Felicity states.

Thea who had been in the room and saw her come in quickly went to her and enveloped her in a hug. She had missed this woman so much. She had missed the talks they had and had missed how Felicity used to come round and spend time with her and her daughter. Felicity gladly accepting the hug as she too had missed Thea tremendously. Despite couple of text messages they had shared asking if they were Ok, the two women who had been inseparable since Felicity and a Oliver started dating had gone the longest time without talking to one another. Felicity had to admit that she had missed Thea too and it was not the same without having her around her.

As Felicity greeted everyone with either a smile or a nod trying to make it not seem about her she opened her laptop and went to work with finding Connor.

"Hey," Oliver whispered as he came to stand above her looking between Felicity and the screen as he had done so many times before.

"We'll find him" Felicity tries to reassure him, but her eyes don't leave the screen, in fear that she will break down and cry when she sees Oliver.

"Thank you for coming" he whispers as he rubs the back of his neck and walks away letting her get on with it.

Oliver had paced back and forth feeling helpless, he and the team had gone on patrol and had tried to spot him, but they had come back with nothing. Felicity had gone to the foundry and used the computers there to run her searches. She worked endlessly and everyone tried to wait patiently for her to find something. She had run facial recognition and was hacking into A.R.G.U.S satellite, she hadn't told anyone on the team that she had hacked them as she knew they would be worried. But she could not just do nothing and sit and wait for her usually searches to find something.

"Oliver" Felicity screams grabbing his attention from the end of the room where he was sparring with Diggle to blow off some steam. The two men quickly stopped what they were doing and raced over to Felicity. Looking at her screen they saw satellite image of where Connor was, he was tied to a chair in a hotel room in the middle of Starling. Oliver quickly changed into his arrow gear as Diggle started loading his gun and called Laurel and Roy to come to the scene. "Be careful"?Felicity says as she watches Oliver pick up his bow, "bring him home."

Oliver walks to Felicity and looks at her, "I will and when I'm back we need to talk and not just about how those pictures are satellite images but about us." He leans down and places a kiss on the top of her head before walking out of the foundry with Diggle in tow.

When Felicity had heard that Oliver had got Connor back and they were headed to the manor she cleared her station and collected her things. She quickly wrote down a letter addressing it to Oliver and leaning it on top of his work station where he sharpened his arrows before glancing at the lair one final time and leaving. Although Oliver had asked to talk to her afterwards she knew that their conversation would go nowhere. She knew that he would be thanking her for coming and apologising for not calling her so she decided to avoid all of that and go back to her mom's. It was for the best, it would mean not seeing him and making walking away a second time more painful than the first time.

Oliver and Sandra had put Connor to bed and Sandra had jumped into sleep next to her son it had been far too close, he had been so worried that if he did not deliver the money in time they would have killed him. Despite Oliver having his people prepare the money, he had gone in there as the arrow and not as Oliver Queen to deliver the money. He had known enough about kidnapping and ransoms to know that despite having the money they would not have handed Connor over.

When Oliver got down the stairs he saw his family, he had told all of them to find a room and stay at the mansion tonight as it was late. Oliver looked around the lobby hoping to find a certain blonde, but he could not spot her.

"Where's Felicity?" he asks Diggle was talking away with Roy.

"She's gone man, when I went to the foundry to drop our stuff I found a letter addressed to you, I called her and she is headed to the airport to go back to her mother's" Diggle explains.

Oliver nods and opens the letter.

_Dear Oliver, _

_I am sorry that I have not come to check up on Connor, I hope he is ok. I came back because you needed my help, but nothing has changed, you haven't changed, your opinions and choices have not changed. I am not coming to the manor because I don't want it to hurt- walking away from you again. I want you to know that I want you to be happy Oliver, find someone to make you happy- maybe Sandra, she, you and Connor can be a family. _

_I know that you are and will be an amazing father to Connor; I know that you love him so much, he has opened your heart in so many ways. I know that I said that I wanted it, wanted children and a husband, but the truth of the matter is I wanted those things with you. And only you. You are the man that I love, it is scary to think- well to know that I will never love somebody the way I love you. It's crazy I don't even want the life I pictured myself with anyone else but you. I don't think I will find that with someone else or want to find it. Which is crazy because you're probably thinking why I left if that's not what I want. It's easy I can't be with you and watch you be a dad to Connor, I can't always have in the back of mind what it would have been like if we had a child. _

_I am going to focus on myself, I've always wanted to travel the world and maybe start my own business. Please be happy Oliver and carrying on being the best father a kid could hope for. I love you and I always will, maybe we will meet again someday. _

_Love always,_

_Felicity_

Oliver folded the paper and looked up at curious eyes not moving from his poised spot for what felt like hours Thea slapped him. Oliver's head snapped up and glared at his sister confused as to why she had just hit him.

"You're an idiot, you have everything you could ever want with Felicity, you stringed her along all these years, I don't understand why, why you won't make her happy. I don't understand why you are afraid of committing, why you are afraid of having a child with her. For some reason, she loves you when you do not deserve it. You know what Oliver you are a coward because you and she could be amazing, your children would be a mix between grouchy and moody and smart and babbly." Thea stepped away from Oliver picking up her sleeping daughter wanting to retrieve for bed.

"I never thought I would be calling you, Oliver Queen, the Arrow, Al-Sahim, Ra's Al Ghul a coward" Thea said again and then left the room making Oliver feel extremely low about himself.

"She's right, the best thing to ever happen to you and you are letting her walk out of your life" Diggle says as he and Lyla take each other's hands and leave to go upstairs.

"Dad," a voice said after a while of standing there and not doing anything. Oliver looks up to see his son in his pyjamas rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, buddy couldn't sleep?" Oliver asks.

"No I could but I wanted to come find you and heard what Aunt Thea said about Felicity," he said as he took a seat on the steps. Oliver joined his son and placed his around his shoulder pulling him close to him.

"You heard that huh?"

"Yeah, dad can I ask you a question?"

"I think you just did" Oliver laughed.

"No, seriously."

"Ok, go for it," Oliver waits.

"If I was in your shoes and my Felicity was leaving because I was scared of being with her what would you say to me?" Oliver looks at his almost 11-year-old son and smiles not believing how grown up he sounds.

"I would tell you to get your head out of your …" Oliver licks his lips causing Connor to laugh, "I would tell you to stop being a coward, make yourself happy and make her happy."

"Then why don't you, I know that I should be like all the other kids and want their parent's to be together but you don't love my mom, not in that way, but Felicity makes you smile and laugh. Be the happy dad you deserve it" Connor stands and hugs his father then retreats to his bedroom.

Oliver contemplates what his family has just said, he wants Felicity, his talk with her was going to be about wanting her back, apologizing for being a jerk, not calling her. He wanted to ask her to come back to him but for the reasons they broke up because he can't have that life, he doesn't deserve that life.

Oliver picks up the keys to his motor cycle and leaves the house to get her back. He doesn't know what he will say or do when he gets there, but he knows that he needs to see her and speak to her.

* * *

Oliver reached the airport thinking what a cliché the whole situation he was in, he going to go and find Felicity, declare his love in an airport and hope that she would take him back.

Oliver bought a ticket to Vegas as he was not allowed through the terminal to where she was waiting for her plane. Sprinting down the hall amongst all the other passengers he found her sitting by the window typing away on her tablet. She looked beautiful he thought. Taking a seat next to her she hadn't even noticed until he cleared his throat.

"Oliver, what are you doing here?" she says as she jumps when she notices him sitting next to her.

"I got your letter and it hurt, you walking away for a second time…"

"Oliver, please, yes I did walk away as in left, but you walked away …"

"I know, Felicity I love you, I don't want anyone else but you, you are it for me, Felicity Smoak, I have been a coward and a jerk. I am so scared of committing Felicity because if I commit and it doesn't work, or I screw up or hurt you or … it will destroy me, I …" he looks away.

"Oliver either way you're hurting me so I don't understand" she cries.

"I want you, I love you, I have had a ring to propose to you for over two years now I just … I don't know Felicity, I don't know why I can't just propose, I want too" he admits. "I want all of you, I want you to be my wife I am just terrified, every day I wake up and I think that you deserve someone better than me."

"Oliver…"

"Please, let me finish" he holds his hand out to her. "You deserve a man who is not tainted who has not killed, who doesn't have countless of enemies, I never wanted you to be a target." Oliver turns his body and takes her hand in his, "I have no idea why you love me, why you want me, it's crazy I want to be selfish…"

"I love you because you are selfless, I love you because you are a hero because despite everything you have endured you came back a better man" Felicity places her hand on his heart. "I love you more than anything in the world" she looks down at her hand which is on top of his heart.

"I love you" he pulls her in for a kiss. After a few moments they pull up for air their foreheads on leaning on each other's, "come home, let's figure this out, I want you, only you" he reveals.

"Oliver…"

"Please," he whispers.

7 months later….

Oliver had proposed to Felicity, they currently laid in bed naked after Oliver had popped the question.

2 Months later….

Oliver and Felicity got married with all their friends and family present.

6 Months later…

Oliver and Felicity had been trying for a baby for almost 5 months, they had been extremely stressed and sad when it wasn't happening. Oliver had blamed himself wondering if he had left it too late to finally allow himself to be with her and give her, give themselves a baby.

11 months later….

Felicity gave birth to twin girls, Harper and Olivia Queen. Oliver had never seen anything more beautiful than when he held his daughters in his hands. They were so precious, his whole world changed the moment he laid eyes on them and he knew as selfish as it was he would not change it for the world. To think he had not wanted this made him shiver, his life was perfect. He had a beautiful wife and three beautiful children that he loved more than anything.

Oliver Queen was a man destined to be alone but once a bubbly blonde entered his life there was no chance in hell that his destiny would come true. Oliver had come to realise that there was no fate but what you made for yourself. If he wanted a certain life he had to go out and grab it, certain things are written in the stars as they say like fate bringing Felicity into his life. But it was his choices, her choices, and their choices which brought them to this moment. The moment where they were blissfully happy and in love with each other, despite what the world threw at them.

38 years later ….

Oliver and Felicity Queen died in each other's arms, in bed in their home Queen Manor. Their three children buried them, mourned them and made sure their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and all the generations to come knew of them and their story. For the next generations of Queen's learned what it truly meant to carry that name. What it meant to go through hell and come back stronger and better for it. To know what it meant to be so madly in love with someone that when the time came the universe had decided to take them at the same time. For they could not live without each other no matter what universe, time or space they were in.

* * *

**I never had any intentions to write a last chapter for this as **i** wanted it to be a kind of make up your own mind kind of thing. But because of the messages **i** thought **i** would give it a happy ending- especially as our couple finally got their's even if they have another **seaons** coming up. **

**Just to let you know **i** am finally on Tumblr - Lorii67 :D **

**New posts for the other stories will be out tomorrow. Enjoy and let me know what you thiknk, thank you for all the reviews. **


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